Acceptance

"Be who you desire to be; not who society wants you to be"

 Ehh someone famous might have said that, I didn't feel like looking it up today.  It's been too long since I have been on here and hopefully coming back after a short intermission is socially acceptable.  Why do we as humans always have to look for some acceptance in our lives.  Why don't we just do what makes us happy and say "buzz off world"?  Apparently that is frowned upon now-a-days; but rightfully so.  Who wants to be in a restaurant and a child who hasn't had a nap is tired & cranky and is crying (people get mad about that and call parents bad parents).  Whenever this happens I try and laugh because I know that I have BEEN THAT kid who was cranky and didn't want anything to do with a restaurant and was "causing a scene".. Everyone has, unless you're someone who has eaten every meal as a youngster in a secluded area (highly doubtful)... This is maybe the most prevalent thing I can think of (probably because I'm hanging with my brother and nephew today HE"S THE BOMB-- my nephew, not my brother)..

Of course everyone (some exclusions) want to be accepted by friends, family, professionals in their field, school mates.. it's just astonishing how far individuals will go to obtain that "support" by others.  Recently I have started training for a race, Spartan Death Race, and the individuals within this close community are certainly a different breed.  If you aren't familiar this race is a multi-day, pretty much no sleep, endurance race that I think is closely comparable to a mixture of mountaineering, obstacle coursing, and simply insanity.  Signing up for this race isn't something you do in 5 minutes (at least I didn't).  After being completely consumed with actually thinking I had the balls to sign up for this race I went on a search mission to try and convince a friend to be ludacris  enough with me to go through with this.  Needless to say that ended pretty quickly because they all through I was crazy (even family).  So I'm sitting there and thinking "am i really that good enough of an athlete, or can i BECOME good enough an athlete within the next 375 days to conquer this?".. I was stuck on this question it seems for days.. All I could think about was the amount of work and passion I would need to get to where I had a chance against this monster.  I think most would agree with me that it is a David vs. Goliath match.. I was searching for social acceptance and the lack of it is what made up my mind.  If people are too scared to stand up to a challenge that is going to require 370 days of commitment, blood, sweat, and ohhh there will probably be some tears; then screw em.. Knowing there are people doubting my ability to succeed at this is giving me the spirit and attitude I need to be ABLE to go out there..  I may fail miserably but I may be where I actually finish.  THis race isn't about winning, it's about finding the commitment to put yourself through hell for a year to compete with some of the greatest athletes there are for a few days.. For building a socially shunned community of people who are all alike in the aspect that they are willing to take on something huge and know there is a nice probability that only 1 in 5 participants will finish.

Socially acceptable to Death Racers, and future Death Racers is a thing of the past..

Changes

"Seeing people change isn't what hurts. What hurts is remembering who they used to be."

I saw this quote and it immediately made me think of a few people in my life that have contributed to some of the most brilliant and exquisite memories of my life but have also literally made my heart sink without even casting a stone.  Looking back on college and how I lived my life I saw that I was not an individual, on my own doing my own thing, I was sucked into the vortex of "social acceptance" and was herded like a sheep changing my views and my ideas about who I really was.  I was a follower and not a leader.  Knowing this now, I am taking a stand and becoming a person who has the motivation, the integrity, the determination, and the willingness to be different; to take a step off of the path that has been created into a trail and I am voyaging off a step at a time in a different direction and creating my own path.

Why should I do this?  I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for being that follower I was; would I? No, I wouldn't be.  But if someone else can torment and then satisfy my friendship in the blink of an eye then Lord knows I am guilty of doing the same.  It isn't a fair fight to the person on the negative receiving end; even if it's a two way street of passion and then deceitfulness.

Be who you want to be AT YOUR CORE.  Find who you are, it won't happen in a day, it won't happen in a year.  It has taken me 4 long battering years to find who I am today.  Although those 4 years were the best of my life, there are certainly aspect that could and should be improved upon.  Friendship and loyalty ranks upon the highest.  Love a friend.  Be a good friend.  But most importantly, Love yourself for having friends.

building inspiration

finding things throughout the day to inspire me basically is what gets me by hour to hour. I'm not sure what it is but just discovering things that release those endorphins that make you feel "high" is just bizarre to me.  THere is such a range of things that can just consume you for no reason and make you feel like a rockstar.  I discovered a pretty interesting thing last week and also honestly just 5 minutes ago.  Last week I went for a run without headphones because my busted and my run was AMAZING.  I was running the same run I always do through my neighborhood but I actually took in the scenery, the sounds, and the smells.  It was mindblowing how a stroll that I have done numerous times before became so uplifting and joyous by simply actually taking in my surroundsings.all because I didn't have that little distraction called external musical motivation.  I ran faster and lighter than I had in a while and was stoked afterwards.

But just now sitting here this cool chick I know (TMB) just hit me up with some Mac Miller music and it's brilliant.  The beat, the hooks, the lyrics (which i rarely ever actually listen to in a song) just got me on this "high" and got me so inspired.  It isn't the first time that I have gotten excited over a song because ohhh there are plenty of them out there that get to me and just get me itchin to move and sing (which isn't very pretty).  But it was the first time that I really noticed it.  And now I'm thinking how sweet would it be to go for a run and throughout the run pick 5 maybe 10 things that you really take in and remember and then come back and write a few lines down.  Of your own song.

The point here is, there is no point. You can find inspiration in things that you have seemingly tossed to the side (surroundings on a run because you're too focused on splits or music selection) or that you just never appreciated some songs for what they are.

"Find something today to inspire you and make it the highlight of your day"