HOOO DANG

Drat it has been way toooo long since pouring my thoughts and daily aspirations into this coffee cup called the internet.  Well that isn't completely true, I have been on the good ol' book-o-faces, where everyone deems it necessary to lull people to sleep with their most up-to-date personal life problems.  I sometimes wonder what the creators of facebook had as intentions as to what this plague would be used for prior to it blowing up.  Did they think that it would be able to actually connect hundreds of millions of people from every corner of the globe with the ease of a few keyboard strikes and a few mouse clicks?  HMM very interesting.

Well certainly a lot to catch up on in here.  Since my last blog (which was WAYY to long ago) I finished my half-marathon and ran in 1 hour 40 minutes, undercutting my 2 hour goal, so needless to say I'm pleased.  I have been kicking my butt semi-religiously with workouts, but I and certainly not hitting the grind as hard as I should be to call myself "training for the DR seriously".  I just haven't had a whole lot of motivation lately because I the "big boy job" still somehow someway is still alluding me; but never to worry.  I am currently in the application process of becoming a firefighter and it has slowly started to creep into my mind that I have a chance.  I have gotten through the 3 initial stages (application verification, written test, and physical agility test). The latter was OBVIOUSLY my favorite because it actually required some training for and well I am very content with my performance.    That is enough rambling.

Well I will certainly be making a quicker appearance next time.  Tooots magoots

Acceptance

"Be who you desire to be; not who society wants you to be"

 Ehh someone famous might have said that, I didn't feel like looking it up today.  It's been too long since I have been on here and hopefully coming back after a short intermission is socially acceptable.  Why do we as humans always have to look for some acceptance in our lives.  Why don't we just do what makes us happy and say "buzz off world"?  Apparently that is frowned upon now-a-days; but rightfully so.  Who wants to be in a restaurant and a child who hasn't had a nap is tired & cranky and is crying (people get mad about that and call parents bad parents).  Whenever this happens I try and laugh because I know that I have BEEN THAT kid who was cranky and didn't want anything to do with a restaurant and was "causing a scene".. Everyone has, unless you're someone who has eaten every meal as a youngster in a secluded area (highly doubtful)... This is maybe the most prevalent thing I can think of (probably because I'm hanging with my brother and nephew today HE"S THE BOMB-- my nephew, not my brother)..

Of course everyone (some exclusions) want to be accepted by friends, family, professionals in their field, school mates.. it's just astonishing how far individuals will go to obtain that "support" by others.  Recently I have started training for a race, Spartan Death Race, and the individuals within this close community are certainly a different breed.  If you aren't familiar this race is a multi-day, pretty much no sleep, endurance race that I think is closely comparable to a mixture of mountaineering, obstacle coursing, and simply insanity.  Signing up for this race isn't something you do in 5 minutes (at least I didn't).  After being completely consumed with actually thinking I had the balls to sign up for this race I went on a search mission to try and convince a friend to be ludacris  enough with me to go through with this.  Needless to say that ended pretty quickly because they all through I was crazy (even family).  So I'm sitting there and thinking "am i really that good enough of an athlete, or can i BECOME good enough an athlete within the next 375 days to conquer this?".. I was stuck on this question it seems for days.. All I could think about was the amount of work and passion I would need to get to where I had a chance against this monster.  I think most would agree with me that it is a David vs. Goliath match.. I was searching for social acceptance and the lack of it is what made up my mind.  If people are too scared to stand up to a challenge that is going to require 370 days of commitment, blood, sweat, and ohhh there will probably be some tears; then screw em.. Knowing there are people doubting my ability to succeed at this is giving me the spirit and attitude I need to be ABLE to go out there..  I may fail miserably but I may be where I actually finish.  THis race isn't about winning, it's about finding the commitment to put yourself through hell for a year to compete with some of the greatest athletes there are for a few days.. For building a socially shunned community of people who are all alike in the aspect that they are willing to take on something huge and know there is a nice probability that only 1 in 5 participants will finish.

Socially acceptable to Death Racers, and future Death Racers is a thing of the past..

Changes

"Seeing people change isn't what hurts. What hurts is remembering who they used to be."

I saw this quote and it immediately made me think of a few people in my life that have contributed to some of the most brilliant and exquisite memories of my life but have also literally made my heart sink without even casting a stone.  Looking back on college and how I lived my life I saw that I was not an individual, on my own doing my own thing, I was sucked into the vortex of "social acceptance" and was herded like a sheep changing my views and my ideas about who I really was.  I was a follower and not a leader.  Knowing this now, I am taking a stand and becoming a person who has the motivation, the integrity, the determination, and the willingness to be different; to take a step off of the path that has been created into a trail and I am voyaging off a step at a time in a different direction and creating my own path.

Why should I do this?  I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for being that follower I was; would I? No, I wouldn't be.  But if someone else can torment and then satisfy my friendship in the blink of an eye then Lord knows I am guilty of doing the same.  It isn't a fair fight to the person on the negative receiving end; even if it's a two way street of passion and then deceitfulness.

Be who you want to be AT YOUR CORE.  Find who you are, it won't happen in a day, it won't happen in a year.  It has taken me 4 long battering years to find who I am today.  Although those 4 years were the best of my life, there are certainly aspect that could and should be improved upon.  Friendship and loyalty ranks upon the highest.  Love a friend.  Be a good friend.  But most importantly, Love yourself for having friends.

building inspiration

finding things throughout the day to inspire me basically is what gets me by hour to hour. I'm not sure what it is but just discovering things that release those endorphins that make you feel "high" is just bizarre to me.  THere is such a range of things that can just consume you for no reason and make you feel like a rockstar.  I discovered a pretty interesting thing last week and also honestly just 5 minutes ago.  Last week I went for a run without headphones because my busted and my run was AMAZING.  I was running the same run I always do through my neighborhood but I actually took in the scenery, the sounds, and the smells.  It was mindblowing how a stroll that I have done numerous times before became so uplifting and joyous by simply actually taking in my surroundsings.all because I didn't have that little distraction called external musical motivation.  I ran faster and lighter than I had in a while and was stoked afterwards.

But just now sitting here this cool chick I know (TMB) just hit me up with some Mac Miller music and it's brilliant.  The beat, the hooks, the lyrics (which i rarely ever actually listen to in a song) just got me on this "high" and got me so inspired.  It isn't the first time that I have gotten excited over a song because ohhh there are plenty of them out there that get to me and just get me itchin to move and sing (which isn't very pretty).  But it was the first time that I really noticed it.  And now I'm thinking how sweet would it be to go for a run and throughout the run pick 5 maybe 10 things that you really take in and remember and then come back and write a few lines down.  Of your own song.

The point here is, there is no point. You can find inspiration in things that you have seemingly tossed to the side (surroundings on a run because you're too focused on splits or music selection) or that you just never appreciated some songs for what they are.

"Find something today to inspire you and make it the highlight of your day"

"It's kinda fun to do the 'impossible'" part 2

imagine for a minute what your perfect life would be like.........


During this perfect life what did you do? Get married to a beautiful person, have a great family, go traveling, have a good job?   That's all great but did you really live your life to live or did you live your life to get by?  When I think about my 'perfect' life I think about all of the crossroads that I am WANTING to come too because it's going to be a craps shot at which one I take.  That to me is what will create my picturesque life.  Because it's hard to admit that you're okay with failing and learning the hard way; but that is how you discover who are as a person. You learn your limits, and then SOME..

Now looking back at this list of so called "impossible" things, they will absolutely be terrifying as time goes on, OR I can look forward to accomplishing these goals that I have challenged myself to do.  I already know that I am going to want to throw up as I'm standing there holding onto the frame of an airplane that I thousands of feet in the air looking out the plane.  But i also know that as soon as I pray to God to keep me safe and I take that step out of that plane all of that anxiety and 'fear' is going to turn into pure adrenaline and I'm going to be so stoked that I'm going to want to do it again, and again..

 WHY? Why would anyone get a high out of jumping out of an air plane, or want to compete in a SPARTAN DEATH RACE, or want to learn multiple languages, or want to write a book?  The purest reason I can give you is.. WHY THE HELL NOT?  What do you have to lose?  Pretty much nothing (ok, maybe a little more with skydiving but ehh).  I know that when I grow old and I have grandchildren and they ask what I have done with my life or what the craziest thing that I have ever done was I know what I already want to say... "We're going to need a few cookies and a glass of milk because I can't pick just one to talk about".. That to me is why a list of 'Impossible' things is worth making.. To make myself a better person, to say that I lived my life to the fullest, but most importantly;to inspire and have stories to talk about and share.. Later guys

inspiration #1

"may the dreams of your past, be the reality of your future"

"It's kinda fun to do the 'impossible'"

So last week I was doing a little web surfing on stumbleupon.com (which i might add is addicting) and I came across a blog that truly inspired me.  The blog was about a guy who had visioned things that he wanted to do with his life and accomplishments that he wanted to complete (pretty much a bucket list).  This got me thinking because I, myself, have been procrastinating on sitting down and actually writing my own list, but I didn't want my list to be about things that the normal average Joe would have on a list... So as I sat down and started to write down things I wanted to do, I realized that the majority of them, most people would consider "impossible".. A page later I had finished a fairly good rough draft of my "Impossible" list... Here is a what it's looking like so far...

Naturally these things will be completed in good time because I don't see myself just nabbing $100,000 out of the air anytime soon and banking it.

I want to challenge whoever sees this post to make an "impossible" list and either keep it somewhere that you see it everyday or to even post it.  Be unique and creative, and don't feel that your first list has to be your last, because I am still adding things to my list. LATER!